Driving in Holland

Driving in the Netherlands is fairly easy, once you learn a couple tricks.

1. If your car has enough room to stretch out your legs, you are an expat...and since you are driving and not biking, you are definately an expat. 
2. Police pull you over by going in front of you with a red lit up word on thier roof that says 'follow me.'  Learn the Dutch word for 'follow me....'
3. Before you make a turn, check for bikes, mopeds, and clown-size cars.
4. If you are sharing the road with a tram line, drive fast!
5. When you surrender your US driver's license to apply for a Dutch one, and they politely say you can retrieve it from the US consulate, realize this means, "Good luck ever getting this back..."
6. Don't talk on your phone while driving--you'll get a ticket!  But feel free to be distracted by the radio, navigation system, blue tooth, or kids in your back seat--no ticket for those...
7. If a delivery truck needs to stop and there is no parking on the street, he'll stop in the middle of the road and block traffic.  Oh, is that an inconvenience to you??
8. The word 'vrij' means free in Dutch.  When this word is lit up at a parking garage, it doesn't mean you can park for free, it simply means there are available spaces.
9. Practice parrallell parking--next to a canal.  It will come in handy.
10. That window hammer in the front seat is to use if you don't have much luck with #8 and find yourself floating in a canal...